Sunday February 19th 2017
First things first, this is not to “seek attention” or any thing of that sort. This is to either help someone reading this but mostly i just wanna share my experience. This sort of thing is not talked about nearly enough in this day and age. Especially in us “millennials” we get called “too sensitive” “lazy” etc. But i hope this will help shine some light on how normal anxiety and depression are and they different ways you can cope with them. Also i just hope that someone going through something similar will read this and accept that this is something they are dealing with. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. The mind will trick and lie to you, its all in how you redirect and rewire your thoughts. So with that here is my story that started not so long ago back in September of 2016 and that I’m working to get through even up to today. ❤
Around September of 2016 i had noticed i was feeling more anxious then my normal nervousness. Also around this time i had started my career as a hairstylist in a new salon and my then relationship was coming to and end, as much as i tried to deny it. In typical “me” fashion i kept ignoring it, pushing it away pretending life was fine. Then one day in the middle of work i went into a full on panic attack. For anyone who doesn’t know or hasn’t experienced an anxiety or a panic attack, one you’re very lucky and two it literally feels like you’re dying. I’m not even joking, if you look on the take home paper they give you from the hospital(yes i went to a hospital, i thought i was having a heart attack) it will list the symptoms of an anxiety/panic attack and at the bottom of the list its says “May resemble the feeling of a heart attack”. Basically the only difference is you can die from a heart attack but not a panic/anxiety attack.
Anyways this then started a pattern of trips to the emergancey room not only once but i want to say around 4 times give or take. What i can tell you is that those stupid little beeps you hear from that monitor sitting next to you aren’t anything to worry about. Don’t even pay attention to those numbers. Focus on your breathing and telling the doctors and nurses exactly what you feel. Nothing is stupid, if you feel a tiny pain in you big toe tell them. The more you tell them the faster and more they can figure something out. THis does not mean that they will always figure things out. It took me 2 months to get an answer and some help.
Oh! Just a heads up heart palpitations are a very common thing with anxiety. No they arent fun, yes it will spike your anxiety, well at least for me.
Working Through It
As of today i am going to therapy and i am also taking a small does of medication to figure my brain out.
The one thing i would suggest everyone at least try is therapy. For me i clicked with my therapist right away, but that isn’t always what happens. You may have to switch therapist multiple time until you find that one that you click with. But what i have found from going to therapy for almost 3 months now is that your brain will lie to you. Also they are there to help you, but if you aren’t willing to try and work with them nothing will get accomplished.
Also you will cry. Just a heads up.
So the first day with my therapist she asked me a series of questions in a way to figure out if i was not only dealing with anxiety but if i was dealing with some form of depression myself. So i answer the questions and i was a 17 out of 21, which translate to “moderate severe depression” which is pretty high. Mind you this was also the point where i had just started my medication so it had not kicked in yet, typically medication of that sort take about 2 weeks to get into your system. So over the next week or so i would go see her and we would just talk. And boy was that hard for me, ask anyone i know i do not share emotions. This gets easier over time, but about 2 or so weeks later she asked me the questions again, i had gone from a 17 out of 21 to 12 out of 21, which is a big improvement. I could definitely tell too.
How I Cope
Yes, i do take medication. But i also do other things to combat my overwhelming anxiety. One thing i would definitely recommend is essential oils especially Anxiety Ease by Edens Garden http://www.edensgarden.com/products/anxiety-ease
Another really great investment would be a Hymilaian salt lamp, they way i look at these are i dont care if the actually work or if its just my brain telling me it works. As long as i feel better and at ease i don’t care.
Another really useful tip is to exercise. Except for the Five Feet of snow that New England just got, this is a really simple and easy thing to do. Exercise not only combats depression but it also combats anxiety.
One thing i have yet to try but plan on trying is group therapy. Its a way to get more outlooks on the things you’re going through and to not feel so alone in all of this.
Which brings me to my number one tip. Having a support system, whether it be at work, home, friends, etc. having a support system that know what you’re going through can help.
If you have any tips for anxiety and/or depression feel free to comment on this post. I hop this has at least helped just one person.